Today I'm tired--not in a groggy can't-put-2-words-together way (not anymore :)) but in a soul-level-exhausted way.

I mentioned a little over a month ago that I had embarked in a new relationship with someone who had, over the course of a year of friendship and kinship, become something more to me (as I had become something more to her). I had no idea, however, that a good, healthy relationship with a woman would involve so much . . . work.:)

I understand now what my parents and what almost everyone I know who has begun (or sustained) a marriage (or long-term relationship) has told me: that it takes a lot of work for two people to come together, and stay together. Even more so in my case because this is a relationship in which I'm committed to working out on my end whatever difficulties we have in any way possible, indefinitely.

It has always bothered me that people in this day and age aren't willing to stick things out together for the long haul. I won't claim to be an angel in this regard--after all, I'm no more (or less) a culprit in the area of not being willing to make a commitment than anyone else--so when I say that this bothers me, I also mean that it has always bothered me about myself (not just about others). Over and over again, I've met women and men who were okay with being in relationships as long as nothing was required of them and no sacrifices were forthcoming, but it seems no one is willing to take the next step--to allow themselves to be bonded to someone regardless of the consequences.

I keep thinking of the classic marriage vows:

For rich, or for poor
For better or for worse,
In sickness and in health

I always touted that level of commitment (even when I didn't exhibit it myself)--I guess now I'm beginning to see what the costs of such a commitment can be.